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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28342608">Si vis amari, ama.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CEO_of_TOES/pseuds/CEO_of_TOES'>CEO_of_TOES</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Death Note (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Demons, Kindred Spirits, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:47:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,548</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28342608</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CEO_of_TOES/pseuds/CEO_of_TOES</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Waking up everyday to a cute message was very nice, waking up to a cute message written by a demon  on your mirror was even better.</p><p> </p><p>(or an AU where Near is a spirit that finds Mello interesting, with a slight theme of Christmas)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mello | Mihael Keehl/Near | Nate River</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Si vis amari, ama.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckinqueen/gifts">fuckinqueen</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>THIS  WAS MADE TO THANK @FUCKINQUEEN FOR EVERYTHING!! EVERYTIME SHE COMMENTS MY HEART MELTS!! I LOVE YOU!!</p><p>I have written this various time, but i am pretty ok with this, if you wanted a different theme don't esitate to tell me!!</p><p>Thanks a lot for everyone that reads and comments! It means the world to me!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘I believe that you should eat something other than chocolate’<br/>Those were the words written on the bathroom’s mirror, maybe he actually should listen to them, maybe he could eat some proteins once in a while, it shouldn’t do any harm. <br/>It was weird having a demon ,or whatever is the best definition for the creature , that would write you messages on your bathroom mirror. It wasn’t anything mean ,it was actually comforting, yet maybe using post it notes would have been easier to clean?<br/>(not that he would ever mind cleaning the  mirror knowing that some new things were going to be written by a kind-hearted spirit who he may or may not have cared for deeply )</p><p> </p><p>The first time such message had appeared from Near it was the day Mello, still Mihael then,  just got to Whammy’s house He was young and he felt uncomfortable in such a strange place, yet he never felt lonely after meeting the being.<br/>After being shown his room he just wanted to cry, only then it actually hit him that his parents weren’t going to come back, ever. He was a orphan , he felt alone in a crude world that didn’t understand his feelings or his sadness. When he went to his bathroom to cry on the mirror wes drawn a heart . He was very scared by that, but also so intrigued that he kept wishing to see everyday something new on the mirror.<br/>(and in the end his dream became reality)<br/>Thankfully he could have the comfort of a being that defies religion, but that could still give cold hugs. It was weird having a ‘creature that keeps you company’ around him, but it was comforting in a way.</p><p> </p><p>In a very short amount of time Mello became the number 1 at Whammy’s house, he was the best! No one came even close to him and to his abilities, he was going to take L’s place, he was going to be loved by everyone!</p><p> </p><p>It was a Monday and before the lessons could start maybe he could go grab something to eat form the kitchen, to make Near  happy. He didn’t voluntarly skip meals, things just seem tasteless and meaningless when your only purpose is to become a detective without friends and that no one even knew personally.</p><p> </p><p>As he warmed the milk for his cereal he kept thinking about the day he started calling the spirit with a name, he was much younger then.<br/>He decided it was the right moment to name the being after almost a year of knowing each other’s existance.<br/>Back in his room he could speak aloud, he could have a idly banter in his mirror with the spirit. No one was going to care.<br/>“Can I call you Near or something? You know… you are always near me I suppose” said Mello with a piece of chocolate between his teeth.<br/>‘Ok, sounds good’ came the fast response written on the foggy window.<br/>“Cool Near. I believe that I yet again aced the test. You also seem very smart, maybe if you were human we could have had a competition on who had the highest marks, surely that would have been me!”<br/>It was weird how Mello saw that interaction as a mere joke, yet it held so much meaning.</p><p> </p><p>He had often thought of being crazy, of having some complex mental illness, but if there was a god then a demon such as Near could also be. He wasn’t the best catholic ,by any means of the word, but he would still carry that cross around his neck . Mello also knew that there was something other that death and he knew that someone was looking from the sky, may it be his parents or Near.  (in both cases he didn’t care)</p><p> </p><p>“If you are a spirit, do I have to give you a present?” randomly asked Mello. Even after years together he still didn’t understand completely the spirit and the tradition he respected. (and maybe it was going to always be like that)<br/>‘no, there is no need to, but I am going to try and give you one, most likely’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tell me Near, what are you truly? Like are you going to kill me once you get bored ? Or are you going to disappear and leave me without your presence, like a punishment in a way. Still I don’t really care, I don’t think I would ever be able to hate you”  asked calmly Mello to his friend, he looked serious and aloof. He wasn’t a child anymore, the dumb happiness that comes with the innocence of infancy was already gone.<br/>‘I only wish to be your guardian angel’ was now written on the sheet of paper. On one side the human hated the distance between him and Near, but maybe they were given such different purposes for a reason that only a god could know.<br/>“Wow… a poetic demon we have here” snickered Mello. <br/>As a response he felt a pair hands soflty touching his own. It was a weird sensation, Near didn’t have a physical form ,or at least he choose not to show it to the outside, but he still felt real in a way. He may not breath ,yet he still existed, he didn’t even have body warmth, but his hands were completely iced.<br/>He didn’t even care about making other questions, he was tired of everything. He didn’t want to be, yet he wanted to be with the demon.</p><p> </p><p>While Mello would sleep Near would just roam around the building, he could pass through walls so he would just look at the life of others. He felt jealous about not being able to be like Matt. <br/>Matt was his human’s best friend, they would spend most of their time together ,playing dumb games and playing with human stuff, because that was what they were: humans.<br/>(and Near could never be one)</p><p> </p><p>“Do you also leave message to other people?  Or do I get the special treatment?” said Mello as he opened the lights in the dark night.<br/>The pen rose up and started writing something ‘you should sleep, we have all the time in the word for such questions’<br/>“So we will be together forever? Well I don’t mind. I can’t imagine myself without your presence”. Mello always treated him with so much attention, maybe it was the effect of all the chocolate that he ate?<br/>‘why do you still want to spend time with me? I literally don’t even exist as something other than spirit. I don’t even have the chance to feel your warm skin’ said Near, trying to reason with Mello.<br/>“I want to believe that we met with a purpose. Maybe in some other reality I hate you, but here it doesn’t matter. You are my friend first and a spirit second.” Said the human and proceded to yawn loudly.<br/>‘you still have to sleep’  was written as a response.<br/>After that no more messages were written that night. Maybe it really was time to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>“Now that it is a new day, do you also follow different people, as you do with me?” said Mello after another school day.<br/>‘I can follow other people if I desire, but I don’t’<br/>“So what makes me specia-“  tried answering the human.<br/>“Mello ,look! I have hacked the TV in the central room! Roger is going to be so pissed, I can’t wait to see his reaction !”<br/>“I am coming!” exclaimed Mello. If what Near was true, they had all the time in the world for those questions, he was going to have all the time he could need with Near.<br/>(in a way that was a lie, he would never stop needing Near)</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Months passed like days, and yet they still didn’t give up each other.</p><p> </p><p>It was the 24 of Dcemeber.<br/>“It is finally Christmas, we are going to have less homework and I will get to teach Matt that cool trick with the ball, the one I showed you yesterday!” said Mello. He was growing so much ,yet Near always remained a demon.<br/>‘I am very glad for you. I also have something for you’ wrote the demon on the mirror. It was kind of a weird thing, but he wanted to show his appreciation to the kind human.<br/>“What? You want to give me something? You didn’t have to!!” said Mello, while trying to conceal his excitement with false anger. For all the years they had known each other this was the first where the demon gave him something.<br/>A sheet of paper appeared in his hands, it was a drawing with Mello and a smaller looking boy, without any color.<br/>‘ I can’t be with you physically, but this is what I should be. It isn’t much ,but when you hug I want you to know that I exist and I won’t give you up, no matter what.’<br/>“Hey Near, I believe you already know this , but I wouldn’t call what we have just a friendship, but you already know this right?”<br/>Mello had no way of knowing what Near’s face looked like, but that day they learned that one can smile without lips and love without a beating heart.</p>
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